Monday, July 5, 2010

My 4th of July Disaster

Never let it be said that I don't have a sense of humor, especially about myself.  I am about to share one of the most humiliating yet hysterical experiences of my life with the world---well, the blogging world.  (Deep breath).  Are you ready?  Do you have some tissues handy?  You'll be crying with laughter in a few minutes.....

My in-laws are visiting over the holiday weekend and graciously offered to watch the boys so I could go do whatever I wanted.  I've really been wanting to see Eclipse so I jumped at the chance to go.  I've never been to a movie by myself, but, frankly, being home alone with the kids so much since Chad's away, I was looking forward to some kid-free time.  So I go to movie and had an enjoyable two hours in the dark with Taylor and Rob.  As I'm walking out the door I'm fishing around for my keys.  My purse is monstrous so it usually takes me a while.  Actually, I'm surprised the keys weren't in my pocket.  I usually keep them there so I'm not forever rummaging around in the abyss.  I'm standing in the middle of the parking lot still looking.  They aren't there.  My keys are not in my purse.  I feel around my backside and pockets again.  Nope.  Not there.  I walk back to the ticket booth and ask if anyone has turned in keys.  Nope.  I start walking back out to where I parked again thinking that they must be in my purse and I'll just find them when I get to the car.  Where is my car?  Shit.  Yes, I cursed.  Where is my freaking car?!?!?!?!?!?!?  It's gone.  My car has been stolen while I was taking a two hour mommy hiatus.  What are the odds?

I'm starting to breathe rapidly.  I simply cannot believe this.  I stumble back into the movie theater where the employees have gotten the manager.  I sink to my knees, literally.  I'm in totally shock.  This can't be happening.  The manager asks if I'm sure.  "YES!"  I tell him.  I'm positive.  I don't have my keys and my car isn't out there.  "Could someone be playing a joke on you?" he asks.  I begin to cry.  "I don't know anyone here!" I wail.  Then it gets really bad.  I start sobbing uncontrollably.  "Who would do this?  Who would take a car with my babies' seats?  What am I going to do?"  Keep in mind these questions are barely understandable since I'm crying so ardently.  A crowd gathers.  Two lovely ladies console me while the manager calls the police and gives them the description of my car that I somehow manage to sob out.  I call my in-laws to tell them what happened and that I may be late.  My FIL is going to come up and wait with me.  I have completely lost it by now.  I'm having a total breakdown in front of about 20 people.  Truly, I don't know what I'm going to do.  After all the phone calls have been made and we're waiting for the police and my FIL to arrive, I'm still wailing about my kids' car seats--really, this is my main concern, more than the car itself--a man comes in from the parking lot and says, "You have a black CRV, right?"  Yes, yes, I do.  He repeats my license plate number.  Uh-huh, that's right.  "It's parked right there." he says as he points to my car, plainly visible in the parking lot.

OH.MY.GOD.

I hug him immediately then dissolve into laughter and cry "But I still can't find my keys!" 

The story ends with lots of laughter (from everyone including myself) and embarrassment (all me).  I eventually find my keys on the floor of the theater.  My only defense about not seeing my car is that I knew I had parked next to the last handicapped space.  What I didn't realize was that there were four rows that had handicapped spaces.  When I walked out of the theater, I was looking only at the first row.  I will never live this down.  Ever.  It was so funny, I really don't care how much ridicule I have to endure. 

Though I'm not sure if I can ever show my face at that movie theater again.

10 comments:

AllieKatMom said...

Awwww thats sad :( you were supposed to have a happy day not a sad day. I can totally see myself doing something like that. Not sure if I could show my face ever again either. LOL
Was the movie at least good?

Luv 2 Kreate said...

I feel your pain, only I was in a Walmart parking lot and my groceries were breaking out of the bag with cans rolling down the parking lot! So I am laughing my rear off! You made my day!!

Glad you found your car :)

amy and the bad cats said...

sorry to hear you had issues on your "free day" but it was pretty funny! i once thought i'd locked my keys in my running car. seriously, i tried the door and it wouldn't open. but while waiting for a friend to bring me a spare key, i tried again and the door opened. yeah. good times.

erica said...

Hahahhah! I'm glad you were able to laugh about it after all that :) Just goes to show, you need more time without the kids :0
Thanks for sharing!

Ryan said...

Glad to hear all is well after that scare Kelly! My wife called me frantic once from a Walmart parking lot proclaiming that someone stole the car because shes been looking for it for 20 minutes and it's not where she left it. It didn't help that she was 8 months pregnant and pretty forgetful from all the hormones. She was constantly losing her keys, phone, etc.

I asked her if she hit the panic button on the car keys to see if the car went off. She said no. As soon as she hit the button I could hear the car wailing in the background. She didn't have much to say after that. I haven't ever brought it up again. :)

Christine said...

Kelly... I was late yesterday to get my son from football cause I lost my keys AT HOME!!! I was so confused....I looked everywhere! I panicked started crying. My daughter was hunting with me.I finally went out to the car and they were in the ignition! I'm soooooo forgetful lately!
LOL!
I'm sorry about your dissappearing and reappearing car! It makes for a good story tho!

Sarah said...

OMG....that is crazy....there are 20 people somewhere telling the story of a crazy lady that couldn't find her car parked right in the front of the parking lot...I am glad you can laugh now...I can't imagine the panic that rushed over you...You need to have another kid free day....that one doesn't count because of the other stress.
:)

cilvee said...

Happy you found your car! That sounds like something I would do. My saving grace is that my car has a 2-way keyless entry/security system. This is good because if my car is stolen, my key fob on my keys will start vibrating and making noise like crazy...of course this doesn't help if I can't find my keys....

savvy stitch said...

LOL! I can totally see this happening to me!

**nicke... said...

lol! that is so awesome! lol!

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